One year on...

This time last year we were all wondering how we would ever get any sleep - the night before Elaine's funeral. It still doesn't seem real in a way. I was clearing out some space on my camera today and there she was, right in front of me trying to get a ball in a basket at Louden Castle. Even although I have several copies stored I just can't delete her off the camera.
I had an extremely wobbly moment at church last Sunday. The hymn that I had taken a verse from to use in her tribute was sung. It caught me completely off guard. As we sat down to pray I knew I wouldn't be able to control my sobs so I grabbed my coat & bag and bolted for the door. I spent the day in my room in a sort of mini rerun of last year. I must of caused a bit of a fuss as even the minister phoned to see if I was O.K.
So how was Christmas & New Year? I'm ashamed to admit I've been in a bit of a bad mood. As it turns out The flu was working on me and I've been floored since Monday and so completely missed out on the New Year celebrations. Nobody can say how you should react and of course I would never ruin it for everyone else. It will get better, I know.... just not this year.